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5 Ways to improve your relationship right now

Many people consider their romantic relationships to be one of the most important part of their lives.  There are times when getting along well with the one we love most can seem almost impossible; he/she keeps leaving dirty dishes in the sink, uses toothpaste from the top of the tube, or only takes the trash out after being reminded 3 times.

And other times the issues are more severe; lying, cheating, or drug/alcohol problems.  Regardless of how big or small the arguments are in a relationship, true connection and trust are the key to resolving them. Here’s a list of 5 things you can do right now to help mover your relationship in the direction of trust and connection:

1.) Disconnect from technology- stop texting as your partner tries to talk with you about where to go for dinner tonight. When you give someone a portion of your attention, rather than your undivided attention, it conveys the message ” this conversation (and possibly you)  are not important enough to get my full attention, I have other (more important) things to do.”

2.) Follow up with your partner about an event, subject or activity that he/she has shared with you before, but didn’t involve you. For example. ” Hey, how is Kevin doing since his surgery? I remember you saying that he was going to the hospital for it earlier this week.” Or ” How was that play at the Fox Theatre, the one you saw with your sister?” This demonstrates 3 important things; 1.) I was listening to what you talked about in the past. 2.) I remembered it. 3.) and I care enough to find out how things turned out afterward. The over arching message here is -“what you’re doing or what you’re interested in is important to me.”

3.) Focus on Appreciating: Our days are busy; full of work, chores, social activities and other responsibilities. It can be easy to get distracted or forget the things we are most grateful for in life. Take a mini time out (60-90 seconds) and think about what you most appreciate about your partner, and then tell him or her. You might be a little surprised at how it can positively impact someone when they hear something good about him/herself.

4.) Share something- This could be anything; randomly offering to help with a chore – like folding laundry, spontaneously making a snack and offering to split it with you honey, or even cooking a full meal together. Sharing helps communicate “what’s mine is yours” and “we’re in this together.” Whether it’s sharing resources, time or energy. This can strengthen you basic bond as a couple.

5.) Quality time- make it a priority to spend at least a few hours of quality time together each week.  This means; no television, no work, no computer, or any other distracting task. It’s crucial that partners engage each other in conversation and activity without any distractions or obligations. This shows your partner “I value you” and “spending time with you is a priority.”

These are just 5 of hundreds of what to create emotional connections in a relationship. Pick one or two and try them today, just see what happens.


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